Today let there be no talk of protests, the president, political parties, or the politics of Portland. If only for a few blessed hours.

After a long spring and even longer summer, let’s put aside one single day to avoid all covid talk (or most covid talk), and pledge not to talk about masks or vaccines or social distancing. If only for a little while. If only while we’re in front of our own TVs, in our own homes.

Also, let’s not talk about Supreme Court vacancies, nomination fights or oh-so-important whips in Washington counting their votes. Let’s not mention names such as Pelosi or Trump or Schumer or Biden. Let’s not even think about polls or margins of error.

For one Saturday afternoon, let’s put aside those words and phrases so often used by the media types, but only used by the media types: such as partisan rancor, cautionary tales, government probes, and be-that-as-it-may. And let’s promise ourselves not to start any sentence today with, “Make no mistake . . . .”

If the name “Lukashenko” is used today, he’d better be a kicker.

Let’s not even talk about state politics, issues on the upcoming ballots, or taxes.

Let’s not discuss intellectual property theft, Ukrainian gas companies, absentee voting, gag orders, the post office, the CDC, Brexit, caravans, statues, insurance policies, one-way aisle traffic, the Dow, California car emissions, the UN, spending bills, ranked-choice voting, testing requirements, home sales, Walmart drones, Google, casinos, sanctions on Iran, weather forecasts, Ellen DeGeneres, cemetery vandalism, bankruptcies, chicken plants, Van Morrison, fake news, mutual funds, QAnon, or TikTok.

Let’s decide on celebrating our own national holiday from it all. Finally, at long last.

Instead can we just have one afternoon before we get back to the world? One afternoon of field goals, interceptions, bribed refs, dropped passes, five-yard penalties, 10-yard penalties, 15-yard penalties, helmets, coach spittle, mispronounced names, touchdowns, two-point conversions, blocked punts, instant replay, and calling the Hogs?

Oh yeah, and while we’re thinking about it, how about Arkansas 35, Georgia 28?

Can we get a break today? If only for today. The world can start spinning again tomorrow.